Always a Blogsmaid

Hairy Budgeting Sitch!

 

The Q: Help!  I'm starting to plan my wedding in New York and cannot find a reasonably priced hair and makeup salon/person.  There are 7 bridesmaids, plus myself, the two mothers and possibly our brothers' girlfriends.  I don't want to spend $2,000 on hair and makeup, but I can't seem to find any place cheaper.

I need advice and guidance!  Where's a good place to search?  And what do you think is a realistic cost per person that I'm looking at?  Thank you thank you thank you!

The A:  This is one of those posts where I feel like I'm going to tell you stuff you don't want to hear... but I'm going to also try to be helpful, so take this with a grain of  salt. 

You CAN do this for less than $2,000, as long as you are willing to GO TO the hair and makeup vs. the hair and makeup COMING TO YOU.  At the same time, don't just go to ANYBODY, because this is your hair and make up. 

By my calculations, if you go to visit the ladies at My Hair and Make Up at their lovely salon in Chelsea, you can take care of your entire party for about $1700!  They are officially the hair and make up for events for many of my friends and family.... which is a strong personal recommendation.  And they've worked with MANY of my clients and done a bang out job. For more money, they ladies will come to you.  As a planner, that does take the edge off the day, but understandably, not worth  stressing yourself out over financially. Here is a wedding they did with us a while back.

The numbers get a little tighter, but still workable, at the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa.  The lovely salon is a great environment for getting together with your maids and make up and hair are around $80 a pop ($160 total) for maids and moms. 

However, (and here's where I start telling you things you might not want to hear) my big question is why you feel that you need to cover hair and make up for all of your maids?  I think it's SUCH a LOVELY gesture, but I think that if it's a matter of both things, maybe you ask them to all come with blow outs or buns and cover their make up. Or, see if they are open to having your person do their hair so you can all get ready together and then cover their make up.  I am not trying to put more obligation on your 'maids, but if you are watching your budget, hair for 7 ladies is $560.  That's potentially flowers on 2 tables, or one limo or your calligraphy on your envelopes and escort cards.

2 Birds with One Holiday Card......

The Q: Every year I send out holiday cards to my friends and family. It's a weird tradition that we have and I'm just one of those people who sends cards for things. Anyway, we are planning our reception for June and I've been looking at Save the Dates and was wondering if it would be tacky to send a combo card? It just seems like a lot of "mailings" all around the same time.

The A:  I not only DON'T think it's Tacky, I think it's quite smart!  It saves paper, postage and money, while still making your holiday card something special.  The other side of it is, maybe people won't notice your important message amongst the holiday cheer, BUT, I'd venture to say Christmas cards don't come in the volume they once did and you can always reinforce the message with a digital reminder post-New Year. 

So, now that you've had this brilliant Idea, don't let it fall flat.  Think of a personalized photo card with your guys and your ring, or check out the holiday cards at Minted.  I've written about them before, but they are so awesome at personalizing their stationary and have a ton of great designs, you'll be able to spread the cheer and the news all at the same time!

Recession Tips Galore!

To keep our spirits up while the dow is down, I thought I'd post today on some great Recession Friendly Wedding Planning Tips for you to consider as you move ahead with your wedding planning.

Decor:   Use parasols instead of flowers for your bridesmaids!  It will totally fill up space and add pops of color to your ceremony.  Get them for a steal at Pearl River Mart.  ($10-20 each).
Visit Home Depot's Garden Center.  Pair a potted rose plant ($20) with an ornate patterned or floral linen ($45 and up to rent) to give the impression of more ample floral and to fill your space with festive color!

Ceremony: Have a friend officiate!  It's a little controversial, but there are churches that will "ordain" you and it is typically legal in all 50 states! 

Attire: Why not have something Borrowed???   Adorn Brides loans gorgeous jewelry (think Diamonds, Pearls, Chandelier Earrings, etc)  from $200 and up, AND they are offering 20% off to Always a Blogsmaid readers!   Here is the promo code:

Consultants and Planners:  Certainly, not everyone has the budget for a full-service wedding planner, but hiring a planner for hourly consulting can be a WISE move.  They'll help you budget your resources for maximum effect and lead you to vendors who can work with what you've got.  They can even help you design your day to get the most bang for your buck.  In Los Angeles area, Mary Dann and Associates offer hourly rates of $120 per hour, while here in New York area we at Always a Bridesmaid offer 10 hours for $1,000 and have effectively helped plan destination affairs, small NY city soirees and more.  You'd be amazed at how much we can get done in 10 hours!

Music: Forgo the pricey quartet and Hire Juliard Alumni at a fraction of the price.

Reception:  Host your party at an off hour to avoid the need for a full sit down meal.  Consider an early afternoon cocktail reception with a couple of stations or a late evening dessert reception.  It's not written in stone that everyone must be fed a full dinner as long as it isn't dinner time.  Also, why not consider someone new or starting out with a lot of experience.  We like Kate Cooks from upstate New York, who will travel in and out of the city for wedding work.  (917-207-5785.)

Dancefloor Dilemma

The Q: I'm operating on a tight budget with a big guest list (350 invited, we're hoping closer to 250 on the day) and was astonished at the cost to rent a dance floor!  To get one the size I keep reading we need (approx. 24x24 for 250 people) the rental company is charging about $1000 to provide it and set it up. 

We're getting married in the conference center of a state park so it's indoors but carpeted.

Do I really need a dance floor or can we mark off an area of the room?  I want a rockin' dance party!

The A: I know, these things get expensive.  If you were on a marble floor or a hard wood floor or even a concrete floor, I would probably tell you that it isn't a necessity at all.  However, the fact is that carpet is a little tricky to move on, particularly to dance on.  There's a reason why grandmas say "Roll up the Rug and Shake a Leg", it's not that easy or safe to dance on a carpet.  Indeed, heels can get caught, people can trip and you can create a little bit of static. :-)  Additionally, there is something about a clearly delineated dance floor, separated from the carpet, that does invite people to cut loose a bit more than walking onto a clearing in the room.

If you don't have the money to do the dancefloor, I totally get it, but you might want to consider this as something skeletal that you should shift money around to do.  See if you can cut out a dessert course, make some floral pieces smaller or nix your favors to come up with some of the extra cash.  Not ideal, but you might want to consider it.

Budget Saving Tips from Bride to Bride

With all the Wall Street wackiness going on this week, I thought it would be great time to pass along budget saving tips that brides have shared with me.    I'm not one for strenuous saving methods that don't amount to much cost reduction, but these ideas really struck me as creative and resourceful!

1) Eliminate a Course.  If your venue's food and beverage package comes with 3 courses or an elaborate dessert course, speak to your sales manager about eliminating a course or nixing dessert or reducing a station.  Be sure that you still have a plentiful amount of food, but you'd be amazed at what $10-20pp plus tax and tip can amount to in savings.

2) Re-purpose, re-purpose, re-purpose. One bride recently told me about working with her florist to design larger bouquets for her bountiful bridal party which, after the ceremony, will be placed into ceramic vases and serve as centerpieces during the dinner.  (I'd say that probably saved her anywhere from $700-$1400)

3) Going with Gently Used.  I know this next idea isn't for everyone, but the gorgeous gowns that I've heard of being snapped up on  Once Wed have really surprised and blown me away.

4) Wholesale It. Is your vision of thousands of tealights, or amazing candlesticks?  Consider sourcing these things online directly or (if in New York, at B & J Floral Supply) through a floral supply store like Jamali Garden and speak with your Day of Coordinator, or On Site Coordinator about helping to set them out for you.  Often times your direct purchase cost can be lower than your rental cost from your florist or decorator.

5) Think Ethnic.  If you are working in  a space that requires off site catering and want to really control costs, consider eschewing the Steak or Salmon options typical of wedding meals.  Working with a caterer who focuses on a particular ethnic cuisine can often save you money and can also be a great way to infuse cultural background into your day.  Here in NY, Indian, Chinese banquets, Italian and Latin catering can often come in at 1/2 the price of a continental style off-premise caterer. 

What great saving tips have you discovered as you've been planning away?

How to have a 40K Wedding in NYC.

The Q: I just came across your site and am so thrilled to finally get a chance to ask a professional advice on weddings in NY.  My boyfriend and are heading in the direction of getting engaged in the next couple of months and have so many questions and decisions to figure out.

I've been reading up on as many blogs as possible and just recently started buying bridal magazines for the first time, but am still in the dark about where we should even start looking if we want to keep within our budget.  I don't have an exact figure yet but our wedding budget will most likely be around 40K and we would LOVE to get married in Manhattan and have around 120 guests.  I think I may be delusional and this may be TOTALLY unrealistic but I must ask you anyway if we really can have our cake and eat it too?  Do you have any recommendations or guidance for us?

The A:  Hmm... It's possible.  It will be a challenge to make choices that won't blow the budget, but it's possible.  (To readers who are in other cities, please don't think I'm obnoxious, since I realize 40K is a lot of money, but sadly in NY, it just doesn't go that far...)

First things first, people often talk about budget, but they don't always know what it means or how to get started spending it and making it work.  I know a lot of websites give you templates, but that doesn't always translate regionally and it doesn't always give you a guideline. 

Basically, if you want to spend 40K on 120 guests, your most important decision is your reception location.  It will set everything else in your budget in place. You should assume that location, furniture, food and beverage for the reception (the most expensive part) will cost you about 50% of that.  When shopping for venues that translates to between $120-126 per guest.  IF there is a location fee, then think no more than 120, b/c with tax and tip, you'll have spent 20K of your money.  Where does the rest of the 40K go?  Well, Photography in NY is a big ticket item, as are flowers and decor (probably, easily another 8-10K for floral and decor), Music, ceremony site fees if you have another location, transportation, cake, etc, etc etc .

So, where can you go to make such a wedding happen?  Luckily, there are a few options, but I would NOT advise you to have a loft be one of these options.  It's a common assumption that loft spaces are about the same as a location with catering or a restaurant, but they simply aren't.  What you may save on alcohol, you spend on rentals!    If you want something traditional and a bit "Old New York"  consider the Manhattan Penthouse off of Union Square.  They have flexible and reasonable per person packages and I've found the food to be really consistent.  

For something more modern and maybe a bit less formal, the private room at Thalassa is a great find. The food is amazing, Taso takes great care of everyone there and they have a wine cellar that I think is great for a ceremony (but might be a little bit tight). For something more rustic, the New Leaf Cafe is a well known "secret" location.

Finally, I would also consider off times- either season or times of day and see what rates you might be able to get in the winter at Battery Gardens and in the summer at 24 Fifth ballroom. 

Hope that helps and congratulations! This part is so exciting. Other bride's out there, if you feel comfortable letting me know, what is your target budget and what part of the country (or world) do you live in?

The Limo Racket

The Q: Limo companies charge so much for 3 hours, however in my research I see that hiring the same limo for 5 hours non wedding related is so much cheaper.  The companies admit they are the same limos.  Would i get in trouble if i just said i wanted to rent limo for family related transportation instead of saying its for a wedding, so that i could save some money?
thanks for your help.

The A:  This sounds almost as much like something for The Ethicist as it does a question for me.  I see your point and know it to be true (to a point) but I don't know that I condone lying, period. One could say that the limo companies are unethical because they overcharge because it's a wedding, but in my experience, the service levels for wedding related use and non-wedding are very different. 

As anecdotal evidence, a limo company we know to be very reliable, had been doing excellent work for us on wedding days.  Truly outstanding. Limos were in great condition and clean, and the drivers were courteous, knew where they were going (seems a pre-requisite, but it sadly isn't) and reliable. One day we needed to book a limo for a Saturday night for one of our clients.  Same time frame as a wedding, but it wasn't a wedding.  We let them know it wasn't a wedding to save the client some money.  The Limo was dirty, the driver was CRAZY- got lost and never bothered going to pick our client up after starting an argument with her about directions. 

Needless to say, we stopped working with that company, BUT it also showed me something about saying that something is for a wedding:  it generally inspires vendors to put their best foot forward.  Sometimes that means the best/ oldest drivers are sent.  Sometimes that means the car is checked and cleaned specifically for your event.  Whatever it is, I think that you don't just pay a limo company for a car that fits lots of bodies. You pay them to facillitate transportation on this important day.  I find that tends to happen with more care when for a wedding event. 

Who cuts the cake?

The Q:  I know it’s old fashioned, but is it OK to have a friend or relative cut the cake, rather than paying someone to do it? The cake price from our caterer is much too expensive for us, and we’ve found a baker who will make the cake for less than half the cost. However, the caterer would charge a $2/slice cutting fee. They have given us the OK from them to have a relative cut the cake, but I’m wondering about “the rules.” Is this a tacky way to save a buck?

The A: Hmmmm.  The thing is, it's not that I THINK it's tacky per se, it's more that it's HARD to cut cake.  I wish I had photos of the one wedding I did ages ago where the caterer wouldn't cut the cake and Mayra and I had to do it.  It was red velvet cake and it looked like a crime scene by the time we were done.

It's also time consuming, so it will probably take the lucky relative a good half hour.  However, if the $2 pp eats into the savings that you found by going to another baker, than I think you shouldn't be worried about propriety.  You SHOULD be mildly worried about appearances, but likely, no one will notice. :-)

Dressed for Success??

The Q: "I am the maid of honor for my girlfriend.She is getting married and has set aside
$1000 for her bridal dress.  She has fallen in love with a $3000 dress and is fretting about spending that much money.  I think she can get a beautiful dress within her budget and to keep looking.  She has already tried on some dresses in her range and has looked terrific. She still has other expenses to think about.  I think she might be loosing her focus.  any suggestions?"

The A: Wow! You sound like me with one of our clients!!!   I think you are being a good MOH in trying to dissuade her, but it's hard to change the course of a determined bride, especially when it comes to the dress.

However, I think the best thing that you can do is to show her what the 2K difference can buy her.  2K can pay for an extra 10 guests at her wedding.  2K can cover her ceremony flowers and possibly her personal flowers.  2K can more than cover transportation.  2K can go towards the honeymoon.  2K can pay for all of the alterations, shoes, foundation garments, hair and make up AND a cute Tory Burch dress for her Rehearsal dinner.  I think that rather than make a vague suggestion about how she can use her money, just showcase for her HOW far that money can go (and will need to go) in certain other areas.  She can pay for her DJ and live ceremony musicians with that money.  I could go on and on and on... I hope that helps- but remember, it's her show- don't allow yourself to get frustrated with her decisions- ultimately, you'll just bicker amongst yourselves and both be frustrated by the experience.

When the Parent ATM is CLOSED

The Q:  “We announced our engagement a few weeks ago and my parents have not mentioned anything about helping to fund the wedding.  Both of us were under the impression that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding, or at least helped to pay.  How can we bring this up with them without seeming greedy?”

The A:  Before you bring this up, you and your fiancé need to get to a place where you are feeling less presumptive about your parents financial role.   There was a time when of COURSE parents were responsible for paying for their daughters wedding.  However, there was also a time that if parents didn’t have the money for an elaborate wedding, the bride would have to live with whatever they could afford to offer.  I know that this sounds like tough love, but I think that if you approach this situation from a “you are supposed to do this, so what’s up?” P.O.V, the meeting will not go well.
    So, what do you do?  First, I think you should start investigating your wedding plan.  You should figure out what the two of you alone, without your parent’s money, could afford.  Once you have a sense of this, perhaps it’s very small, perhaps it’s a very long engagement with a larger party at the end, you should set up a dinner or a visit with you parents and let them know what you are thinking of.  Bring you fiancé, but only if you are confident that they are mutually comfortable with one another.
The purpose of this meeting is to let them know that you started to investigate some wedding options and had some potential wedding dates.  Lay out the options you’ve come up with and let them know that you didn’t want to assume that they are going to assist with the planning, but if they are able to, you would probably look to have a larger or perhaps more formal event.  The main point of the conversation is to let them know that you aren’t sitting around assuming that they are going to foot the bill- but you would welcome and appreciate anything they might have been willing to accommodate. 
To put this into context: consider why they haven’t been forthcoming with the financial aid.  Are they typically quite generous so that this is out of the ordinary?  Is it possible that they don’t approve of the union?   Perhaps they are finding themselves strapped for cash at the moment.  As my family LOVED to tell me again and again: parents are not banks!  I am certain that you don’t see your parents that way, but you want to be considerate of what circumstances might be informing their behavior.
Truth be told, in the days of weddings 1.0, a parent could pay for a wedding and help their child with a down payment on a home. One of my favorite parts of My Big Fat Greek Wedding was that they bought her a house after hosting that tacky, huge, fat, wedding!   It’s possible that your parents want to support your efforts for a more long-term kind of project such as a home or an apartment.  Tread carefully and don’t carry a demanding stick!