Always a Blogsmaid

More Resolutions for the Newly Engaged

Last year I did a post that was pretty popular about Resolutions for newbie Brides-to-Be!  I thought it would be fitting to re-post it, AND, because we live and we learn, I've added a couple more.  Please feel free to add your New Bride Resolutions in the comments section!!!

Happy New Year Brides to Be!!! Rather than take any questions today, I wanted to take a chance to share good wishes and hopefully, some good advice.  There are a lot of you newbie engaged ladies out there, and as you start a new year as the future Mrs. So-and-So, here are some Bridolutions for you to consider adopting in 2008 2009 to keep wedding planning FUN in those moments of STRESS.  Congratulations!!!!!

1. Resolve to not lose sight of the Day After the Wedding.  And I'm not talking about your post wedding brunch! You are marrying the most amazing guy!  He is so lucky to have you and you him.  After the cake is cut, the gifts are packed the the adorable favors taken home, you guys will have one another. So while the wedding is important, remember the next day is the real start of your new lives!  If you keep that in mind, you'll inevitably have MUCH more fun planning it all.

2. Resolve to be a gracious bride. Oh, these people will MAKE YOUR CRAZY at times.  Bridesmaids WILL be selfish at times and guests will sometimes pull some CRAZY, wacky stuff (what do you mean you want to bring your cousin and her 3 kids?????) BUUUUT, if you keep your head above the fray and remember to be GRACIOUS and thankful, your memories of your engagement will be MUCH sweeter. No one likes a Bridezilla, not even herself! (Seriously, I can't tell you how many past bridezillas have called me months later to say "I'm not really like that!")

3. Resolve to Compromise (Sometimes). It's your day your way, but when arguments arise with Mom or In-laws or DH, sometimes its better (and easier) to stop, drop and roll.  No, you don't want to hire a band that your MIL loves or wear a dress just because your mom picked it out, but would it KILL you to have a menu card?  Probably not.  Would a monogrammed napkin totally ruin the aesthetic of your wedding? Not really.  Don't sweat the totally small stuff, and you'll be able to put your foot down when it REALLY Matters.

4.  Resolve to Trust your Team. Do your due diligence before you hire a vendor (Recommendations, ask around about them, look them up in magazines or online, check on insurance, etc) and then STOP DOUBTING them.  If you have hired a true professional, they will care about doing an amazing job almost as much as you do.  Energy, Negative, draining energy is constantly wasted Fretting over vendors who are already contracted.  Remember, every vendor is a pro, but also a human, and negative questioning has never extracted top performance, in my experience.

5. Resolve to Stick to Your Schedule. I have to go to the gym 5 or 6 times a week not to act like a crazy Rhymes with Witch around the office.  I know that about myself, so I have a schedule and I discipline myself to follow it.  If you (or your planner) has set up a schedule for planning tasks and chores for your, STICK TO IT.  It's easy to let work and life derail you, but the more you spread out the TASKS of planning the wedding, the easier it is to NOT BE OVERWHELMED.  Hire people in a timely manner, don't drag out the process and stay on top of thank you notes and your registry.  Work is very important, but you MUST prioritize your wedding as well. 

6. Resolve to See the Big Picture. Read item 1, read Item 2 and combine.  If you find yourself freaking out 6 months from now over a ribbon on a favor box, stop, walk around the block, or your desk, and ask yourself why?  Maybe it's not about the ribbon, and your annoyed that your fiance doesn't care about the details you care about. Maybe you're exhausted of making decisions.  Maybe you need a little break.  But remember, a ribbon is still a ribbon. It's one tiny element that helps make the picture of your day: a painting stroke in the masterpiece of your wedding.  It will not RUIN the image.  Step back, see how great everything else is and move forward.

7.  Resolve to Accept Possible Setbacks. Don't take this as an omen, or as a "wait for shoe to drop", please ladies, but sometimes there are random setbacks.  I've had a wedding that needed to be relocated 8 weeks before the big day.  Once, they put up a scaffold in front of a client's venue the DAY before the wedding without anyone (even the venue) knowing.  A friend's MOH was put on bedrest and she wasn't able to be at the wedding.  They sound like horror stories, but ultimately, none of these things RUINED anyone's wedding.  And remember that, girls. Sometimes, life's complications sneak into wedding world. But they will not and cannot ruin your dream day!

HERE IS MY ADD ON for 2009

8. Resolve to Do What You Can Afford.  You aren't going to win any awards by having the world's largest wedding that you go into debt for. Assess what you can afford and commit yourself to having a reception that fits into that goal.  Don't be afraid to re-think what the wedding needs to be: maybe it's a breakfast or brunch instead of dinner, or dessert reception with dancing. 

Brides!  Enjoy this special, magical time in your lives!!!!  Enjoy this wonderful year where you wave your ring finger around and get constant manicures!!!! It's special and FUN!  Happy 2008!  Looking forward to getting your questions this year!  Remember email for advice, getting started tips, vendor recs, or whatever, to [email protected] or check the archives to see if we may have hit your question before!

Courthouse Wedding

The Q: Good Morning, My fiance and I are planning to get married at the Court House followed by a reception of 75 or so guests. Since most court house weddings only allow a small number of guests to witness the actual ceremony, how can I explain this on the invitations that they cannot come to the court house but we would appreciate their presence at the reception venue? What is the most proper way to do this without making any guest feel excluded? Thank you in advance for your time! I really love your site and have seen you a couple of times on Whose Wedding is it Anyway. I love your work and if it were in my budget, I'd definitely hire your team! :)  - Candice

The A:  Candice, thanks so much for the kudos, it's appreciated!  In terms of your dilemma, I think that what you need to do is have invitations printed for your RECEPTION only.  There isn't any point in providing the details to a ceremony that they aren't invited to, and it's totally not rude to keep the ceremony intimate (though, dear readers, the converse is not true- it's TOTALLY rude to invite guests to the ceremony only and not the reception). 

But, back to the question at hand:  How do you word the invite?  First, for those who will be able to join you at the courthouse, simply offer a verbal invitation to that portion of the day. For the printed cards for the rest of  your guests, try playing around with a version of something like this:

Who ever the host is (you, your families, etc)
Request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of
Your name
and
Your Fiance's name
Friday, the twentieth of March
Two Thousand and Nine

Actually, I personally enjoy more playful wording, but be careful NOT to refer to the the wedding in the past tense since you still will be having the wedding that day (to clarify, basically don't send something out that says "We Got Hitched!", since you haven't yet)

I hope that helps and HAVE FUN!!!!

Happy Holidays!

On behalf of Mayra and I, we hope that you and your sweetheart and your entire families are enjoying this holiday season!  We'll be taking the rest of the week off, but back with our NEW bridal resolutions next week AND a bunch of questions that I didn't quite get to this week! (btw, below, my FAVORITE christmas album... what's yours?)

Don't Forget to Register....

Blogsmaid Readers:

Please don't forget to register for our two fantabulous events with Pronovias!  Tis the season of engagements, so save your spot before those newbie brides-to-be do!  The first one is on Jan. 15th....

Dantewilliams.com

My good friend (and colleague) Dante Williams just launched a new site, www.dantewilliams.com to showcase his wedding photography.  I sort of love it- major upgrade to show off his lovely work! 

That Dress!

The Q: Xochitl, I am pretty sure you must hear this about a million times but I was just wondering where can I find the wedding dress that Valerie Rivera wore. It was a very low back cut that she wore for her wedding at St. Patrick Cathedral. I saw the dress on Whose wedding is it anyways and I fell in love. Is it possible if you can send me a picture of that dress along with a store and website that I can purchase the dress. I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for your help.  -Tonisha

The A:  Valerie wore a Jessica Zamir dress from Designer Loft.  There is also a version of the dress made out of a silk with a ballgown style skirt. 

Joseph Pessar Photo Winners!

It's snowy today... which makes me want to go out and play.  But I needed to handle the Joseph Pessar give-away.    Abbey Sweizer and Jami, you've won today! 

Can you please email me your addresses at [email protected]?  (for some reason your emails didn't show up in comments... new typepad system).
I'll be publishing the winning entries over the weekend.  Happy Snow Day!

Mad about Mayla

We are thrilled to introduce our newest sponsor to you: Mayla Invitations.  These Indian inspired invitations are custom designed at unbelievable price points and are luxurious in every way.  Everyone knows I love getting design inspiration from cultural sources and these are gorgeous for any bride seeking a little glamour.  Here are some of the designs.

Whose Wedding IS it Anyway?

SOooo, I got an email today from Sabine Sherer today, because she was at home and watching TV and saw me on a new episode of Whose Wedding is it Anyway?.  Well, it was so funny, because I remembered taping the show, but totally had no idea that it was on!   Which isn't to say that I'm all non-chalant about doing a TV show, but I hate seeing myself on TV and it was a Clip show- like Best Week Ever.... so, more like "Best Wedding Ever" or "Lindsay's Most Outrageous Moments", and I wasn't there actually taping a wedding.   Anyway, I taped this back in the summer and I just plain forgot about it.

Let me offer up some back story: I did two episodes of this show a while back.  I haven't been doing it lately- largely because of scheduling and very camera shy brides- so I was surprised (pleasantly) when the producers called and wanted me to be part of this Clip Show. 

It was taping in August in the height of my season and some personal craziness, and the night before, I realized that I was at the end of a laundry cycle and had missed the cleaners and had nothing to wear.  My fear and trauma of appearing fat (which I did, if you've seen the other episodes- my own mother said so) caused me to resort to an inappropriate top.  I think I was showing a lot of cleavage... I don't really know. 

I also never got my roots done and, in effort to fix the unfixable, decide that here in New York,  I must be able to get a blowout sometime before my 9AM call time.  Not so much.  After wandering the city streets for hours stalking salons, one finally opens and it is a filthy pig sty.  Literally, the floor was covered in hair.  But I had no choice!!!! I had to stay.  I said I wanted wavy, I left with pin straight.  I was running late, realized I had no cash and Tiffany our intern had to come from the office to "bail me out" of salon prison.  We got a cab with minimal AC and voila!  Cameras ready. 

Who knows how this looks, or what I said, or what remained on the cutting room floor.  I'm too afraid to look myself.  Please check it out if you can.....

The style network, 12/19 at 11:00AM, 12/20 at 1PM and 11PM, Sunday 12/21 at 9PM and it seems, again and again and again. 

VERY grateful for the opportunity... very nervous I look/ sound like an idiot. 

DIY Dress Up

We got a gift bouquet from Jessy at Fleurs that showcased a new technique- these great fabric damask wraps for your vases. This is a GREAT way to kick it up a notch on your table tops- either DIY and hand to your florist or see if they can do a high design version like Jessy's!