Always a Blogsmaid

J. Crew Fever

In this time of credit crisis, isn't it fantastic to see the NEW, GORGEOUS wedding styles over at J.Crew?  The dresses below are some of my favorites and range from $350-2,500.  They have really upped the sophisticated ante and I can imagine some of these gowns on my Smack Mellon brides right on over to my Botanical Garden girls. And, several of them have POCKETS!

Seriously though, can anyone whose worn a J.Crew dress or recently bought one tell us about the process?  I haven't had a bride wear one yet and I'm just wondering how it goes?  Is there really an Ashley? I would so appreciate your feedback about the experience for bride's or bridesmaids.

Girlfriend in the Picture

The Q:  My brother is 27 years old and has a girlfriend who he's been dating for a year or so.  I like her fine, but my brother is a life lone serial monogomist who is never without a girlfriend and I have lost track of the girls that he's brought home for dinner/ holidays/ wedding dates, etc.  Anyway, we are doing our family photos between the ceremony and the reception, and as she is his date, she'll be with him en route to the reception site.  I feel awkward about our family photos because I don't want to take this huge family photo with this girl in it and then in a year or two when he marries someone else, have his ex-girlfriend in our family wedding photo.  I also don't want her just sitting around like a wall flower or feel like I dislike her.  I don't, btw, I just think my brother is a big fat baby who can't make up his mind. How can I handle this to make it as unawkward as possible but not immortalize their dating in photos?

The A:  I have to say that you may like her fine, but you are CLEARLY not in love with your quasi sister in law, otherwise she'd be in the "practically family" area.  Still, I understand your position.  I suggest that you keep the photos with Nana and Pop and the full family restricted to only siblings and spouses and then consider doing a set of sibling shots with you and your hubby and your siblings and their spouses/ girlfriends.   I think then, if they stay together, you can keep that photo framed and if you don't, well, you have all those great family portraits with your parents, right???
Regardless, she, like everyone else, will have to do some waiting around, so I think as long as she's included in one or two shots it will be OK.  You should ask your brother to give her a heads up about which shots she is in or give a NAME LIST for each of your pictures on your shotlist to the photographer so that he can call each person up by name for each of your portrait shots.

Charitable Intentions

Excited to tell you about a fabulous charity event going on in the Seattle Area being organized by some local vendors there including Eliza Truitt:

I'm a big fan of the Always a Bridesmaid blog, and I wanted to tell you about something very cool that I and five other Seattle wedding vendors are putting together. The six of us (three photographers, two planners and one invitation designer) were all sitting around over cocktails last year talking about how none of us have a lot of extra money to give in support of our favorite causes (hello, small business owners!) but that all of us provide services that are incredibly valuable to brides. So we called up 30 of our favorite local vendors--florists, designers, bands, videographers--and convinced them all to donate their services to a big silent auction for brides. And that's how Get Hitched, Give Hope was born!

So on October 23rd, we're throwing a big cocktail party and silent auction with the goal of raising $50,000 for Brides Against Breast Cancer/Making Memories. It's a way for brides to shop for things they need for their wedding, and to also feel great about the money they spend because all proceeds are going to charity. Or as we like to say, you can get gorgeous goods while giving back!

Seattle area brides, please mark your calendars!!!!

Mc Fabulous Rings.

So, Mayra is really in love right now and, she won't admit this,  it causes her to look at a lot of jewelery sites for "research for the blog" (I'm winking now, you can't see that, but I am).  Anyway, she and I have fallen in LOVE with the amazing designs at McTeigue & McClelland.  They are romantic, floral, but clean and to me, have a wonderful vintage feeling about them.  I couldn't pick just a couple, so here is almost ALL of their bridal line.

Bad Bride

The Q: I know this is going to be a strange question but you have such great advice for everyone, I thought I'd give it a go. Two months ago my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I enthusiastically said YES. Shortly after this though, my mind started spinning as I thought of all the planning and preparation we would need to do for the wedding and reception. Over the last few years I have had an unhealthy amount of family responsibilities and for the first time in my adult life I have some time to myself. Thinking of all the wedding plans started to really stress me out. When I discussed this with my fiance, he immediately offered to take on most of the planning duties which I thought was funny and cute and awesome. I accepted and immediately felt better. I thought the problem was solved except that now several of my friends have started commenting that it doesn't make any sense for me to miss out on the "fun" of planning a wedding. One friend of mine even told me that it was mean of me to give those responsibilities to my fiance. On top of that, they are all pressing me about who I will have as my Maid of Honor, etc... I feel like a bad bride but I don't think I have the energy to be what my friends would consider a good bride. Help!

The A: Bad Bride, don't let people get you down. You aren't bad at all actually. Not everyone finds joy in planning all of the details of their "big day". In fact, that is sometimes why people hire us! If your fiance is into the details of how to make the day come together and doesn't seem burdened by the process, I don't see anything wrong with this reversal of typical gender roles in the wedding planning process. Honestly, no reason at all to feel badly. Tell your friends and nay sayers that millions of grooms out there have no idea whats going on with their wedding plans, and no one says anything to them. It's your party with your fiance, other people's opinions aren't really of issue here. The important part is that you were excited to MARRY this great guy. Often that gets lost in the process of planning a wedding. Good luck to you and enjoy the surprises you find on your big day.

Awesome Recessionals

As anyone who reads this blog regularly knows, I'm obsessed with music, and it's a passion project of mine for us collectively to assemble lists of great and unique wedding songs. So, this past weekend we had a double header of a wedding weekend of two musical couples. Friday was a professional drummer and Sunday was a club DJ and house singer. It was a pretty amazing weekend to have my job. They also had awesome ceremony and reception music. Since we'd already tackled great first dance songs, this got us started on what would be great recessional songs to come down the aisle as Man and Wife (or Wife and Wife or Husband and Husband) to. Our first round picks:

* Lovely Day by Bill Withers
* All you Need is Love by the Beatles (wasn't that the best scene in Love Actually!)
* Here Comes the Sun by the the Beatles
* Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
* L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole
* Your my Best Friend by Queen

Any additions? What did you recess to?

Birthday Post

Took the day off for some birthday celebration! We rented a little drop top mini cooper and drove around visiting friends and family. A wonderful way to soften the blow of the 30 + 1 year (yikes!) More wedding words tomorrow, but I hope you all had a great weekend!

Sky is the Limit

The Q: I love an "Affair to Remember" and "Sleepless in Seattle". How can I get married on the top of the iconic Empire State Building?

The A:  Typically speaking, couples can only take photos on top of the Empire State Building, and even that can be a bit of a hassle.  However, on one magical day a year, The Empire State building opens it's doors up to couples to exchange vows atop of one of NY's most important buildings.  (Hint, that day starts with a Valen and ends with a tine's) This year, Brides.com and The Empire State Building are partnering up to allow 14 lucky couples exchange vows, renew vows or declare their commitment to one another in front of an intimate group of your family and friends.  All you need to do is submit your stories of love and your connection to NY and the Empire State Building at Brides.com

In addition to the opportunity to be one of 14 couples (I don't get the impression that it's a group ceremony, btw, lest this sound like a Moonie wedding - no offense to any Moonies who might be reading this) your prize includes:
*Getting married in an intimate ceremony amongst family and friends,
styled by the experts at Brides.com
*Have pre-wedding consultations from the Brides.com editors
*Be pampered with hair and makeup for the bride
*Enjoy a champagne toast as a newlywed couple
*Receive a gift bag worth over $500 and so much more

BTW, I want Deborah Kerr's look in this movie to be my "new" look for fall... I'm thinking of bringing back the dramatic head scarf :-) 

Can I brag for a second?

To make it less obnoxious, I'm not bragging about myself.   One of brides, an astronomer at Yale, discovered a Galaxy.  As she politely corrected me, she didn't discover it today, they'd been working on it since January, but still.   I'm pretty impressed.  Kudos to Marla for her MAJOR accomplishment.

Budget Saving Tips from Bride to Bride

With all the Wall Street wackiness going on this week, I thought it would be great time to pass along budget saving tips that brides have shared with me.    I'm not one for strenuous saving methods that don't amount to much cost reduction, but these ideas really struck me as creative and resourceful!

1) Eliminate a Course.  If your venue's food and beverage package comes with 3 courses or an elaborate dessert course, speak to your sales manager about eliminating a course or nixing dessert or reducing a station.  Be sure that you still have a plentiful amount of food, but you'd be amazed at what $10-20pp plus tax and tip can amount to in savings.

2) Re-purpose, re-purpose, re-purpose. One bride recently told me about working with her florist to design larger bouquets for her bountiful bridal party which, after the ceremony, will be placed into ceramic vases and serve as centerpieces during the dinner.  (I'd say that probably saved her anywhere from $700-$1400)

3) Going with Gently Used.  I know this next idea isn't for everyone, but the gorgeous gowns that I've heard of being snapped up on  Once Wed have really surprised and blown me away.

4) Wholesale It. Is your vision of thousands of tealights, or amazing candlesticks?  Consider sourcing these things online directly or (if in New York, at B & J Floral Supply) through a floral supply store like Jamali Garden and speak with your Day of Coordinator, or On Site Coordinator about helping to set them out for you.  Often times your direct purchase cost can be lower than your rental cost from your florist or decorator.

5) Think Ethnic.  If you are working in  a space that requires off site catering and want to really control costs, consider eschewing the Steak or Salmon options typical of wedding meals.  Working with a caterer who focuses on a particular ethnic cuisine can often save you money and can also be a great way to infuse cultural background into your day.  Here in NY, Indian, Chinese banquets, Italian and Latin catering can often come in at 1/2 the price of a continental style off-premise caterer. 

What great saving tips have you discovered as you've been planning away?