The Q: I am marrying a man with two youngish children. They are 8 and 10. Obviously, it's important that they be a part of our wedding day and to make them more comfortable, I thought it would be nice for them to each invite a friend to the reception. However, other than that, we want an adult party. My fiance thinks that people will be offended that they couldn't bring their children, but that we still had 4 kids running around the party. What do you think?
The A: Unfortunately, I think he is right. But, I don't know that you need to care too much, if you don't mind being "talked about". It's your right to make your stepchildren comfortable and your right to have adults only (other than these 4 children), but because it's inconsistent, you should be prepared for criticism. Basically, if etiquette tells us anything, it is to be consistent. Adult reception should mean no children. However, your stepchildren will be incorporated (or should be) into your reception in some way AND it's a big day for them and having a friend around will ease their anxiety as well. So, my bottom line response to you is this: your position is not etiquettely correct, but I don't disagree with you. My guess is that your sensible guests won't disagree either.
