Always a Blogsmaid

Bridesmaid Dress 911!

The Q:  I'm hoping that you can help me wrap my head around a situation... I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding that is coming up VERY VERY SOON.  It's in about 3 weeks. I ordered my bridesmaid dress late, took my measurements myself and now the dress has come in finally and it doesn't fit.  Not in a too big way, but in a too too small way!  I don't even know what to do and I've avoided telling the bride, because I know it's just going to freak her out completely.  I have already put a call into the salon and they told me it's too late to order a new dress and get it on time....What can I do!!!

The A: EEEK!  Wow, Ok, deep breaths. You must try and stay calm about this.  The first thing that you need to do is to contact a dressmaker in your area- someone who actually makes dresses, not someone who does the hems at your drycleaners.    Make an appointment and see in what way they think they can fix it.  In the meantime, you need to, either through the gown store OR through the manufacturer directly (and it's probably easier going through your gown store b/c they will have a relationship with the manufacturer) and purchase some of the fabric that the gown was made with from them.  The tailor will be able to let you know how much you will need. 

Once you start the ball rolling to fix it, just let the bride know that your dress was a bit too small, but you are taking care of it.

If for some reason you can't get the actual fabric from the manufacterer, you and your tailor will need to hit the streets and find the closest match, but I think you will have luck going through the dress designer.

I'm not saying to keep the bride in the dark, but don't shed light on the problem until you have made efforts to correct it.  She doesn't need a NEW stress dropped on her lap, but will appreciate knowing about it and knowing that you are handling your business!

GOOD LUCK!

Snack Shack: More Gaps in Ceremony & Reception

The Q:  How do we go about having a 10am wedding, and a 3pm meal? Can we do it and how do we let everyone know that they will have to 'snack' but not pig out between the wedding and reception. We will have snack trays out when our reception doors open, but we don't know when to actually do that part either. We have soooo many out of town family members coming who will want to visit and catch up, and that's our basis to ending the evening early, around 7ish. What's the proper way to do all of this?

The A: Well, I'm assuming that there are logistical reasons dictated by someone other than you that are creating such a large gap between the ceremony end time and the reception start time..... you CAN do anything, and I'm happy to tell you how I would do it if you were my client, but my FIRST suggestion is to consider either moving the ceremony time up (to 12:30 or 1, depending on its length) OR making your very early dinner into a brunch and making it an 11:30 or noon meal.

But, let's assume that's not possible....

I'm confused about WHERE these snacks will be.  If they are at 3PM at the reception venue, I don't think they are doing much good.  I think that you should see about having snack trays out at your ceremony site AFTER the ceremony so that when you have made your exit, you can have a receiving line, take family photos and your guests can mingle, have a coffee and a light snack.   This would work the lobby or receiving area or outdoors, depending on where your ceremony is.   Then on the invitation, I would indicate in the lower right or left corner "Lite refreshments following ceremony"

Your reception card (you MUST have a reception card) would then indicate the actual start time of the meal.  It should say Please join us for Dining and Dancing at XXXXX XXXXX .
This will let your guests know that they a) have a really big gap between the ceremony and reception and b) that they are going to get a full meal later on .  It's then up to them to gauge their food consumption in between!

Please just note and consider that people will have the ability to get back and forth easily between their homes or hotel, the ceremony site and the reception site, because they will definitely want to go, change and refresh and rest in between the two events!

I hope that was helpful....

A Tale of Two Rooftops

June was officially rooftop month as we seemed to have checked out several of New York's airy watering holes.  Two notable newcomers that we were Mad46 and Salon de Ning.  Each of these hotel bars provided us with tons of entertainment, though in really different ways.

Mad46 is the Midtown east hotspot on top of the Roosevelt hotel and as you can imagine, happy hour there is, well, jovial (and a little crowded).  We had drinks there this past Monday with their Director of Sales and chatted it up with their event space manager.  It feels a bit like  a NY secret, I have to say, because you enter through a side entrance, go up a private elevator and emerge to this great, secret hideaway.  We were told it was a ladies night thing and were perplexed to see all these dudes on our elevator, until we figured out that no party there is totally private, and they were actually just regular patrons.  Since nothing is totally private and the food is very good, but definitely HOT snack fare, I was thinking this would be a PERFECT place for Night Before cocktails with your out of town guests ($500 minimum for a table reservation on a Friday) or even to have an engagement party gathering with some of your friends and family.  If nothing else, Mayra said the Mojitos were delicious, so stop in for a cocktail.  Here, bad cameraphone photo...

Last week we hit up the opening of Salon de Ning on top of the Peninsula Hotel on 5th Ave.  Mayra had done a hard hat tour there and has been semi obsessed with the spot ever since, so we were really excited to check it out.  It is definitely, at least a sexy 7 if not an 8 on the Corey Sexy Scale, with it's awesome furniture and it's really remarkable wooden bar.  In honesty, it was quite the crowd there, but we'd invited a new friend of ours, a DJ and we spent most of the night praising and picking apart the DJ's selections.

Salon de Ning is actually kind of the perfect place for a small, awesome and fun wedding.  They do great sushi and other asian inspired dishes as well as some Indian fusion stuff.  The amazing part is really the price, it's somewhere around 15,000 for F & B for  up to 80people.  It's really decorated already and for people looking to do something special, but understated, it may be the answer.  Here's some professional shots of Salon de Ning.  Not of the party though (they also have really amazing cocktails, of which we had a few too many that evening!) This is the banquette we called home that night.... 

Overjoyed: Part 2

I CANNOT even begin to tell you how cool it was that so many people were really into our post about Stevie last week and great first dance wedding songs!

We got so many awesome suggestions, that I wanted to post again, with your suggestions and a couple of others that have come up over here...Actually, I get your comments to my blackberry, so Mayra and I were driving around this weekend and we'd get a song, and then it started us playing all those games of "Oooh, what about....BLAH BLAH BLAH."  Anyway, somewhere between New Jersey and New York, we got into a PRETTY HEATED debate about the appropriateness of Shalamar, For the Lover in You.  "This is for the lover in you, this ring means I'll always be true, This is, how we'll start love anew, This Time it's gonna last forever....." I think it's a great song for a couple who maybe had some bumps in the road and is ready to really commit.  Mayra thinks you should not dance to a song that continually uses the word LOVER to describe the person.....  Please weigh in, I managed to find the video, but I don't want anyone to get in trouble at work.... So, here is the link if you are open to checking it ou (OH, Shalamar, only in the early 80's could a look like this say "hotness")  Below, the Video, and below that the suggestions you sent to us (THANK YOU!)

OVERJOYED First Dance List Additions:

The Sunshine of My Life by Stevie Wonder (Emily)

When I'm 64 by the Beatles (Nicole)

The Hawaiian version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Amanda)

Into the Mystic by Van Morrison (Kristin)

Always by Atlantic Star (To You a Favor)  I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!

You're the Best Thing that Ever Happened by Gladys Knight

Two Wishes)

A Bridesmaid Dilemma

The Q:  I don't want to have more than 2 bridesmaids, but I have 4 sisters and a lot of close friends who want to be involved in the ceremony. What are some ways to include them?

The A:  Well, there are a few ways, but, not to play King Solomon, how are you going to choose which of your 4 sisters become 2 bridesmaids?  I have to think that the other 2, unless they are Really really really bridesmaid phobic, might be slightly offended.  And I cringe at the thought of your friends being selected over your sisters!
But, listen, you didn't write to me for judgement, just advice, so here goes:

"Hostesses":  Think of hostesses as female ushers, if you will. They stay in the rear of the ceremony area, greeting guests, handing out programs, directing people to sign the guestbook and helping to pin bouttonieres and such.  I like it when the hostesses are sort of color coordinated with the wedding. I just think it looks nice.

"Readers": If you weren't planning on having readings at your ceremony, this might be a good time to reconsider as it ads a personal touch and it gives a special role to special people. 

"Toasters": Not the registry gift.  I think it's sometimes really nice to NOT have the MOH do the toast necessarily and give someone else a chance to speak about  you.  Perhaps if your friends aren't in the party, they may want to give that insightful tag team toast about your love and life that entertains all of your guests.

Engagement Chicken

Last week, I answered a much discussed question about how to get a non-committal guy to commit.  We had a few comments from readers, but, to be honest, nothing really set off the googling frenzy quite the way the suggestion from Etiquettely Correct about Engagement Chicken.

Obviously, we hadn't heard of this phenomenon (otherwise, I would have saved a lot of breath and not gone into my theories of trickery and cunning wiles that I so went on and on about last week) that Glamour Magazine started back in '04. If you haven't been under a rock like us, here goes:

According to legend, women who prepare this chicken are nearly immediately (within one month) met with engagement and, tons of Commitment.  According to one recipient it "was the kind of meal a wife would make" The recipe was printed in January of '04 and supposedly, by June of '05, 21 women had been proposed to because of the chicken.  I'm assuming those women for whom the chicken didn't work simply don't come forward, so I don't know what the rate of conversion is for chicken service into Rock distribution/wedding vows. But, it seems to work and it's probably better than all that running around I had you doing.... I'm not afraid to admit when I'm crazy sounding. Besides, by all accounts, at the very least, it produces a very moist and tasty bird, so you have a nice meal together.

Then again, if it were me, from the moment he tasted the chicken, I would start acting all weird and be like "How are you feeling?" "Do I seem different to you?" The next day: "Didn't you love that chicken?"  Then the next 3 weeks would be like a bad sitcom episode where I keep waiting for the "Surprise" and getting all excited and watery eyed every time he puts his hand in his pocket.....

My question is, can you messenger these things? Like if you wanted immediate results right now, could this be sent to someone as a lunch, let's say.....Or maybe in a care package overseas?  Or maybe part of the whole things is the experience of serving the one you love a hot, roasty meal :-)

A 2nd Home.....

For your bookmarking purposes, ladies and the occasional gentleman:  we have a second home.  While you can always find us here at alwaysabridesmaid.typepad.com you can NOW bookmark us at
www.alwaysablogsmaid.com

So much easier to tell your friends about now too!

Program Do's and Don'ts

The Q: I am helping my best friend’s sister plan her July 5th wedding (and will be the day-of “coordinator”), and a question came up about the programs.  Her future mother-in-law is making the programs, and showed her a cringe-worthy sample—she had listed her father & stepmother as “parents of the bride”.  The children no longer speak to or are in contact with their mother, but their stepmother has by no means taken her place (they don’t “dislike” her, but they don’t have a great relationship with her, either).  The parents of their step-mother will also be included in the “honored” wedding guests, and listed in the program.  So, what is proper etiquette for listing these family members?

The A:  Oh, the new etiquette around weddings, eh?  It's amazing what real life will do to a bunch of old and tired rules! :-)

Well, first, I think that the first thing is to not group the stepmother and dad together.  I think it should potentially avoid listing family members in groups, and rather list them in their entrance order, so for instance, first the honored guests: Possibly Alpha order with an explanation of who they are, then the names of the groom's parents with Mother of the Groom and Father of the Groom next to their names and then The bride's father and stepmother's names.  The purpose of the program is not to create discomfort in any way, and there isn't really a right and wrong way to do it.

The other option (which we've done with clients) is to simply write the processional order, so for instance:

Prelude (Insert Musical Selection)
Mother of the Groom, (Insert Name) escorted by Father of the Groom, (Insert Name)
Stepmother of the Bride (Insert Name) escorted by (Whomever is escorting her)

etc, etc.

In terms of the parents of their step-mother, I have to assume that your friend must feel somewhat close to them, and that they must be semi-surrogate grandparents, otherwise, why would she include them?  She should refer to them however she refers to them in real life- if she calls them grandma and grandpa, then the program should list them as "Grandparents" to the bride.  I think using the word TO the bride, vs. of the bride, helps make the subtle distinction that they are surrogates and not biologicals.

I hope that helps, this one was tricky....

Are we Cuter than Cute Overload????

We are SOOOO excited in the office today because we've been selected as a FEATURED typepad blog!!
I am in amazing company with some of my Favorite blogs like Style Me Pretty and the absolutely incomparable Cute Overload (if you are ever having a bad day, please visit the pony link.... I mean, talk about turning a frown upside down!!!)

Beat the Heat at Outdoor Weddings

The Q:  I really want an outdoor wedding but am afraid the date I want is going to be too hot. Is there a way I can have what I want without making my guests miserable?

The A:   This is a tricky one, because it's easier, generally speaking, to warm people up vs. cool them down! However, there are still a few things you can consider for both ceremony and reception.

First, I always believe in having a comfort station: a little table outside of the ceremony with either chilled bottles of water, fan programs or even, if you can splurge, some parasols to keep people from having to sit in the sun.   I loved these escort cards attached to fans and thought they'd be pretty and chic.

When it comes to your tent, if you are tenting, try and avoid clear top so that you don't create a greenhouse.  ACing  a tent is possible, but costly and only so effective.  There are great pole fans that you can consider too.

I definitely think that if you are going to be al fresco completely, during the day in the summer, you may want to consider incorporating market umbrellas into your look. I think if you did all white you could make it fresh and modern, but beware, it could also go very picnic.....