Always a Blogsmaid

Life at the Top!

I'm so excited that Alltop, which collects the "All the Top" sights on the web just launched a wedding portal and included our blog as one of the best out there! It's quite and honor and I can see it's already gotten us a lot of new readers, so I hope you enjoy it also!  A lot of our blogging friends are also included- including Wedding Bee, Brooklyn Bride and Christine Tremoulet, who was nice enough to submit us for consideration!

It's really quite an honor and I added my HONOR badge to the site below! 

While on the topic of Web Resources, I did want to also mention that Brides.com just launched their own Wedding Blog called Wedding Bits.  I'm enjoying it, particularly for product and fashion suggestions- since they have such great access to the "bestest" and newest trends. 

Today is a short entry.  I have a bunch of great questions lined up for next week, but for now, I'm admittedly off to play hooky and go see a matinee of Sex and the City.   FYI, I'm updating my post from earlier this week, Things I'm Loving... Wedding and Non, because I had a really busy, productive week and have lots to gush about....

Flash Me! A little contest for our readers!

We are launching a contest for all of our Brides to Be OR Recently married brides out there and you can win Prizes! Yes, Prizes! 

Because Always a Blogsmaid is all about passing on great information, we partnered with SanDisk, the people who make the sexiest, cutest Flash Drives around (I never thought I could speak that way about something with a USB attachment!) for a little contest. Get it- passing advice, flash drives, passing info....

For the next week, I want to hear from you ladies (and gentlemen out there) about the best lesson you've learned through planning  your wedding/ the thing you'd do differently or the BEST piece of advice you received!

I'd LOVE to hear the back story and I'll post the 3 most interestesting stories as well as ALL the advice given next week.  The 3 best Nuggets of Wisdom will win a set of 5 chic and sexy 10 Flash drives in your choice of colors.  They are snakeskin... ooooh!

Please email your submissions to [email protected]   we're gonna wrap up this contest on June 5th.   I'll post the winners on the 9th!

No Returns

The Q:  I am freaking out a bit.  Basically I got 10 of my invitations back in the mail, there were problems with the addresses, etc., etc., BUUT the problem is, I don't have any more invites to send these people new invitations AND the invites came back looking really damaged.  I don't even have extra envelopes...... What do I do? I also don't want them to think that they are B-List or second thought invites.  Actually, one of the invites was to my boss and I know everyone else in the office has gotten their invite already.... HELP!

The A:  I don't know that there is one right answer, except: Lesson Learned- better to over order invites from the get go by about 25 than to run short- there are always "returns" and last minute additions.... If you have the time, just order extra envelopes so that you can send out clean copies.

However, that said, as the problem sounds quite urgent, I would say the first step is to contact the guests whose invitations were returned. The best excuse for this call is "I wanted to confirm your address because our invitation was returned to us." and then read the address that you had. 

Let them know that you are going to re-send the invitation.  Personally, at this point, if they are local enough, try and deliver the invite by hand. ESPECIALLY TO YOUR BOSS.  Otherwise, if you are ALSO out of new envelopes, consider an express mail package with a handwritten note that simply says "My apologies for the delay, I wanted to be sure you received an invitation so that you would have all the details"  Assuming you don't have the time to order new, clean envelopes, remember that while this isn't as nice as a clean, pretty envelope arriving in the mail,  it at the very least showcases your  sincere desire to have them know that they are invited, included and desired to be there.....

Things I'm Loving Now, Wedding and Non 4

It's been a while since I've posted one of these, but here we go! (I'm updating this on 5/30, because it's been a great week of fabulous finds!)

1. Estelle.  I'm totally obsessed with American Boy as one of my summer songs, but in truth the entire album is fantastic!  Substitute lover is pretty amazing...... It's like the best of R & B, reggae and Lily Allen...  Annoyingly for everyone in the office, the songs are so catchy, I'm already singing everything.

2. ENGAGAGEMENT SHOTS.  I've long been a believer in engagement sessions as a way to get to know your photographer, but lately, thanks to some sessions that my clients have had with Christian Oth and his photographers, I've realized that they are the perfect way to let your personality shine through- you can incorporate locations, pets and more that just aren't really that easy to incorporate on wedding days.

3.  The WestSide Loft.  I constantly sing the praises of Studio 450, but Jim Brady's original space, the WestSide loft is truly spectacular for a romantic party.  I personally prefer a centralized dancefloor in the main dining room, but a number of things would work in this stunningly maintained space.  We recently did a wedding there that I CAN"T wait to post photos of!  Unfortunately, at the end of the night our delivery guys thought that some columns that were there belonged to us, so we accidentally stole some furniture, but I PROMISE, we returned it promptly on Monday!
4. Murakami.  If you are in New York you must check out the show at the Brooklyn Museum, it may be one of the coolest art exhibitions I've ever seen.  And For you Louis Vuitton collectors, it's equipped with a boutique IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXHIBITION! 

5. DJ Jimmy JVC.  He's our secret wedding DJ weapon!  I'm always reluctant to give out my favorite secrets, but he's just so wonderful, I'm happy to spread the news about his musical genius.  He can spin anything.  A quick google search will send you to his contact info- perfect for the ecclectic couple that wants to dance!

6. Bottino.  This may be the most perfect place for a wedding shower.  Not only are the prices reasonable, but this Chelsea gallery hot spot, is what most NY brides imagine when they imagine their shower.  I've been singing their praises for years, but have been so happy with the way they've helped us with one of our clients, I have to spread the news.

7. In the Heights.  YOU MUST GO AND SEE THIS PLAY! YOU MUST! The best entertainment money you'll spend. It is a seminal work of American Theatre.  REALLY TRULY. It is fun, it is exciting, it is amazingly original and it's really, truly authentically a New Yorkers native experience living and growing up in the city. It's just a blast.  On a lark, I decided to go the other night and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  As a Latina, it's amazingly true in music and script, but it's appeal was MORE than Latin.  The ENTIRE diverse audience was on their feet, crying and laughing and thoroughly amazed by this revolutionary theatrical experience.  From traditional musical numbers to work that will make you feel like you are right at the club, it's just creative and exciting and something that we should all experience before they make a cheesy movie version of it.  With 13 Tony Nominations (all of them deserved) I suggest you get tickets NOW before they sweep the award show circuit and you won't be able to snag them.

7. Mel Barlow Photography    I met Mel a while back through Josh  at  Elan Artists.  We hit it off immediately, but could never seem to get to work together.  I loved her so much, I got prints to decorate our office with of random weddings that I just loved! Finally we were able to get together and work with our client Raquel. Mel is one of the hardest working women in the biz and she has JUST relocated to New York.  Her amazing talent is now even more available for New York City brides (prior she would have to travel in) and we couldn't be happier.  Below, engagement shots she did for our bride, Raquel.   I can't wait to see the shots from the wedding.                        

The Memorial Day Break

Like most of you, I'm hanging  up my wedding hat this weekend in lieu of a more relaxing sun hat and shades! Mayra is a Bahama Mama this weekend and In addition to participating in a costume party cookout (don't ask) I think I'll be heading upstate for a spell to enjoy the wonderful weather.  As I wind things down I wanted to just take a few moments to thank you all for your readership and for all the wonderful notes that people send!  I hope your planning is going well and remember, we're here to take your questions, so please submit whatever wedding woes are on your mind to [email protected]!

The No- RSVPs

The Q: I am desperately trying to finish my seating plans, my wedding is a week away, but I have about 20 guests who have not RSVP'd.  My FI says we should assume the answer is no, but I'm nervous that I'm going to NOT give them seats and then people will just show up.  I've already called them and left messages. At what point do I give up? I really don't know how to handle this."

The A: I know that this seems crazy, right?  You get an invite, it has a pre-stamped response card and yet people STILL don't send them in.  At this point these guests do know if they are attending or not- it's not like they are sitting on the fence, trying to decide.  And you don't want to have them come and not have meals, or have them NOT come and have paid for their seats/ dinners.  SOOOO, I think you need to do a two step follow up.  First, check out whose guests they are: i.e. are they your friends from work, are they your fiance's friends, are they friends of your parents?  Whose ever guests they are needs to get on the phone with them and send them an email and in a polite, concise way, say "The wedding is coming up and we haven't heard from you, so were going to assume that you aren't able to join us.  Of course, we would welcome having you, so if we misunderstood, please call us right away at XXX.XXX.XXXXX." 

The bulk of these guests are probably NOT coming, so you shouldn't worry about 20 people just showing up!  But you may want to have 2 or 4 extra chairs available. Your banquet manager should prepare 5% overage anyway, so don't get too stressed!  Rude guests are an inevitability, unfortunately, so we mustn't let them bother us.

SAVE THE DATE: Cocktails for Camp!

Hi Everyone! A while ago, I posted about Cupcakes for a Cause and told you all the splendors of The Lower East Side Girls Club, one of the only clubs of it's kind, that works to create programming for inner-city girls. Well, I was so impressed with what they were doing I signed up to volunteer whenever and if ever they might need me.

Fast forward a few months and I am serving on the host committee of their fundraiser Cocktails For Camp on June 5th at the Lower East Side Girls Club Community Gallery. The event tickets are $25, but the money goes for an amazing cause: it helps to fund 4 weeks of Day Camp and 1 week of sleepaway camp for up to 50 inner city girls. For so many of these girls, the week of sleepaway camp is their very first time leaving the city. As a city girl myself, I know how very important my first trip OUT of NY was for my growth and imagination.

I invite you, if you are in the city, to Save the Date. The Event will be held at 56 E. 1st Street, from 6PM-8PM.
I would love to see you there, and you can be sure I'll be posting a reminder closer to the date.:-)

If you are not in NY and not available, I ask you to consider donating. Or consider making a donation in lieu of a favor to the Camp Program. The cost per girl is only $500 for an entire summer's worth of fun! Donations can be made online at GirlsClub's website. Pledges can be made and paid out over time.

Self - Promotion

Ladies, I know I had mentioned that we had a photo shoot with Latina Magazine a couple of months ago...... Well the issue is out! In all of our glory, there we are, on page 96! I'm posting the clip here, but if you want to check it out in real life, it's the issue with Prima J on the cover.

Inviting the Bridal Party

The Q: "I have been engaged for a few months, and my fiance and I are about to take a trip to visit some of my closest friends.  I have already asked my sister to be my maid of honor, and to even out my fiancee's side, I need to select two more friends.  I was wondering if you had any advice -- I have no idea what duties bridesmaids do traditionally (unlike this blog, I am never a bridesmaid, always a wedding singer), and that makes it harder to pick good attendants who I know will reduce my wedding day stress rather than add to it.  What kinds of roles do bridesmaids usually play in a wedding outside of looking beautiful and witnessing the ceremony?"

The A:

Thank you for the question. I find that we get this from a lot of brides in some format or another: sometimes it's about how to replace a bridesmaid if someone has to drop out or, such as in this case, who you should invite or if you should bother to "even out bridesmaids to groomsmen". You should only ask your VERY CLOSEST friends or relatives to be bridesmaids. Seriously. If you don't have really obvious choices for your bridesmaids identities, then I suggest you don't have them. It will be much less stressful to only have a maid of honor and have your other two groomsmen walk down the aisle single file or side by side than to increase the size of your bridal party. Generally speaking, with rare exceptions, more bridesmaids and groomsmen always results in more stress than less- through no fault of anyone's in particular! I'll explain the psychology of being a bridesmaid a little bit: it's very expensive, and unless you truly are great friends with the bride, it often results in being less helpful and more disgruntled. A bridesmaid is being asked to not only being purchase a dress, possibly travel and host showers, the bachelorette and of course, give presents but also to "help alleviate wedding day stress". I've found, in our experience, that many ladies give "virtual" eye rolls when on top of the above they are being asked to stuff invites, put together programs and sometimes act as a "day of" coordinator. It's truly a labor of love and therefore I feel, not just something you ask someone to do to help solve an aesthetic dilemma in your procession. In terms of duties,my other suggestion is that other than having a bridal party "wrangler" - who calls everyone and makes sure they are at the rehearsal on time and that they are where they need to be on time on the wedding day, all bridesmaids duties should be limited, in formal terms, to pre-wedding day activities. They want to celebrate with you and surround you with love- but they aren't wedding planners. Obviously, in a pinch, they should roll up their sleeves (or take off their wraps!) but I would hesitate to assign your girls to duties such as liaising with the band or managing your shotlist with the photographer. While they have the best intentions, it's too easy for a celebratory girlfriend to let something you deem important fall through the cracks!

Printing away

The Q: "Is it ok to print names & addresses on my invitations? Will I be seen as rude & lazy?"

The A:Well, here is a fact, nothing is as nice as calligraphy for a wedding invitation. Nothing says wedding, nor looks as pretty or "classy" for lack of a better word. However, nothing costs quite the same either.

So, when you say printing, I am assuming you mean computer printing. I, while not a fan of digital calligraphy, do appreciate that more than, let's say, running the envelopes off on your office printer. First of all because they can match fonts from your invitation and 2nd of all, the print quality is better. At about $1 an envelope, it's worth the splurge.

All of this is to say, NONE OF YOUR GUESTS WILL PROBABLY CARE OR NOTICE. It's true! They will notice if it's fabulous (believe me, they will) but if it's lackluster, it won't register as bad or rude, it just simply WON'T REGISTER with your guests. The envelope will simply be tossed away! So, go for the best quality your budget can afford, but don't worry about your HP laser jet offending people.

PS, what is tacky are Avery labels. Don't do it.

Happy Mailing!