The Q: My daughter is getting married and is not in favor of a videographer. She feels it would be obtrusive for her and her finance says he doesn't care. I think that they might regret it and certain moments will be captured for all of us that we might not get if we did it or had a friend or family do it. I have offered to pay for it and my daughter agreed reluctantly. Do you have any pros or cons regarding a videographer at the wedding and reception. I think I'm doing the right thing but i don't want to ruin her day if it will be uncomfortable for her. thanks. I'm feeling guilty.
The A: Oh, momma, I'm sorry. I know you are just trying to do what you think is best. I can't make an across the board statement about video as a whole because I think two things a) a film camera can make people very self conscious, so it is a personal thing and b) video obtrusiveness REALLY varies from videographer to videographer. I think that a well done video is a gem to have after the wedding. But I think obtrusive videography has put some brides on edge.(and I mean, really on edge!)
I think the main thing to convey to your daughter is that video has come a LONG way. It doesn't need to (and shouldn't) involve GIANT obtrusive lights in people's faces and doesn't need to have all your guests saying into the camera "Congratulations!!!" (unless you want that).
But before you force anything on her you should ask the company that you hired what kind of equipment that they used, what kind of lighting they use (ideally not much) and meet your actual shooter. If they are obtrusive or seem very "in your face", you may want to nix the idea for the sake of your daughter's comfort level, or at the very least, find someone whose style she can tolerate.