The Q: I know the tradition is that the bride's parents pay for most of the ceremony. Mine can't afford it and neither can me and my fiance. How should we go about asking his parents who have plenty of money but are very cautious in spending it?
The A: Well, I think that a frank conversation is in order, and depending on how comfortable you are with your new in-laws, you can decide how much a part of that conversation you want to be. However, be aware, that regardless of who has the money in this situation, they aren't obligated to pay and some families in fact feel it, as groom's parents, is simply not their place to pay.
However, that said, I think that the conversation should be that you and your fiance are going to finance the wedding yourselves, as your parents aren't really in a place to contribute. You don't know if they were planning on assisting, or if they hadn't planned on it, but you wanted them to know that you are going to keep the plans small and modest, since that's really all you can afford.
I think at that point, see what they say. It's possible that they may have envisioned a different kind of party that what you can plan without their assistance and that may be the thing that motivates them to assist. Or, it could be that they feel it's your show as the bride and whatever you end up doing will be lovely. Often times Groom's families would rather assist in other ways- home savings assistance, etc.
Just remember, it's not really their obligation, just because they have them money!
