Always a Blogsmaid

Out on the Town!

So, a week or two ago, I got some information about something I thought was really cool, this service called Bride's Night Out (BNO). They take the chore out of bachelorette planning and set up an entire night out on the town! They even assign you a Party Consultant to take care of all the details. They'll get you out into clubs, into the limo, outfit you with a blow up doll, and start popping the bubbly. And they can do this service Nationwide! It's like Mary Kay for Bachelorette parties.

I thought it was so cool, I took some time to chat with founder Pamela Yager about what the service does, and how to get the prudish bridesmaid to "let her hair down".

What's a typical bride's night out?

While every party is unique and shows the personality of the Bride and her guests, the most popular Bride's Night Out party is the VIP Party on the town. This includes a BNO Party Consultant to take care of the details, a BNO Party Guide who takes the girls out, plays games, makes the bride feel special and keeps the action going for all the guests. Party clients really appreciate having a complete package which takes all the work out of their hands from sending invites to booking the limo, and buying gifts to creation of games.

I had a MOH pull the plug on a night out at a Burlesque show b/c she got freaked out. What advice do you give for the prude bridesmaid or the girl who has a hard time "letting it go"?

If she hasn't already loosened up after the official toast with our own BNO Bubbly, then the Party Guide is there to help everyone get involved in the games. If they just join in then suddenly they find themselves having fun. Brides Night Out parties are designed to be either mild or wild. We take into consideration who will be attending which has included co-workers and even the future mother-in-law. The key is that the Party Guide is trained to know their audience, work the crowd and keep the party going no matter what. We find that everyone loosens up at their own speed and if they're going to have fun then it's at a bachelorette party (although they may not share the details).

What motivated you to set up BNO?
There are several motivating factors inspiring me to launch Bride’s Night Out, Inc. parties and most recently the BNO Party Consultant Program.

First, I have been a comedian for over 20 years and since the birth of bachelorette parties in the U.S., I’ve performed stand-up comedy at in-home parties. With my educational background in sex and marital therapy, interest in women’s traditions, and experience with bachelorette groups, I became passionate about the bachelorette industry and providing brides and their guests with more creative, fun, and memorable events. Over many years, I have paid attention to my clients and wanted to provide them with a slew of entertainment options. I continue to create party packages, personalized details, and planning services that will help them. As we say, “We manage the details, you have the fun.”

Since 2001, I have been approached by party attendees, wedding professionals, and aspiring party planners, who ask me how they can do what I do. In addition, I realize I can not be in all places at the same time and provide services to everyone that is interested. In an effort to reach an expanding group of bachelorette parties, I developed the Party Consultant program which allows individuals to become a part of the business, be their own boss, receive training and support, and expand our team.

How large and small are the parties able to be?

While the average party is 12 girls, we've prepared them for groups as small as 5 and as large as Jessica Simpson's with 50. We can plan for groups larger than that but it just takes some extra details to ensure everyone's having fun and not just lost in the crowd.

The Most Fun Wedding Band

I often get asked about great bands, and obviously, everyone's musical tastes vary, but I must tell you that about a year ago, we worked with a band that no one who was at the wedding could ever stop talking about.

Actually, Mayra was stuck at another event and every time she would see anyone who worked on that wedding with me, she would get so angry because they would start every conversation out with "How amazing was that band????" 

That Band is One Nation and they are simply the best R & B/ Soul/ Pop cover band that I've ever heard.  Well,  I so thought it would be so much fun to see them with my friends when I'm not working, but they hadn't been playing anywhere.  Not the case anymore!

They are playing every Wednesday, afterwork here in NY at a ONE NATION is playing at Lola again from
7- 10 pm.

The Ex-Factor

The Q:  My ex-boyfriend and I are still good friends, I want to invite him to my upcoming wedding, but my fiance feels uncomfortable around him because we dated for so long. Is it ok to exclude someone so close to me from my wedding?

The A: Unless your name is Grace and your ex-boyfriend named Will, a hot, recently un-closeted gay man, NO.  No, it is NOT appropriate to invite him to the wedding, most particularly because it bothers your fiance.  In fact, I would say nearly exclusively because it bothers your fiance. 

    If you and your ex are so close, he'll understand your need to prioritize your future husband's comfort level on this important day.   If it bothers you tremendously that your fiance feels this way, you should look at the reasons why?  Have you made an effort for them to socialize together (which, if you are truly platonic and it's truly in the past, is hopefully possible).  Is your fiance unnecessarily jealous in general?  Is this something you want to chat about?  And then, the really big and awkward question, is this friendship really platonic?  Having guy friends is normal, but I think you should understand why that might make your future husband a little uncomfortable.

    Or maybe I'm just old fashioned!

Just Dessert!

The Q:  Any ideas/advice/wediquette on dessert receptions? We’re thinking it’s all sweets, all the time for our party, with some gourmet coffee and salty Chex Mix thrown in for good measure.

The A:  I Love the concept of a Dessert Reception.  In fact, I think it's the perfect way to do something elegant, for less money, but still capture the festive tone of the day.  I think that the critical thing for making this work is to create a focal point.  So, have a full table display of various desserts presented on different levels, etc.  The other thing I would suggest is to go with a bold color pallet.  Not necessarily so strong or vibrant, but something where you are making a color statement, because the one thing you need to do is create atmosphere since you don't have the centerpieces to deal with, or the escort cards, etc.    In terms of the menu, if you have the money for staffing, include some passed mini bites, to create a dessert cocktail hour before you "open up your buffet" and in terms of the savories, I think you might want to consider some baked goods that have a bit of a salty edge to them, not just the chex mix.  Consider some baby-quiches, as a for instance.   

The one critical thing to remember is timing of day- try and not have it be a real meal time- and to call it a dessert reception on your invitation, so that people don't arrive overly hungry!

I'm attaching photos of a photo shoot designed by David Reinhardt Events a few years ago of a GORGEOUS dessert reception. I think it captures all of my suggestions above and more!

Hickey Lip

I don't usually post on Sunday, but a crazy, personal flashback just hit me that I HAD to share.

I'm sitting in the hallway of my high school (Edward R. Murrow, we sat in the hallway there. very experimental) eating a chicken cutlet parm on a bagel, drinking a Crystal Pepsi and doing my homework at the last minute. I stop to ponder "The Assistant" while sucking on the glass bottle when, OMG, my lip gets stuck in the bottle. Yes. It happened. I enlisted some help and, moments later, a POP and....... Hickey Lip!

I gave myself a HICKY on my OWN LIPS! How MORTIFYING.

Fast forward to 2008. Just a random Sunday, sitting here, writing (exciting project... I'll keep you posted on details!) and drinking my beloved Smart Water...... A moment of writer's block and suddenly...... YES, my upper lip was ONCE AGAIN SUCKED INTO THE BOTTLE. This time I managed to wrangle it out myself, but, alas, the results are the same.

I have a hickey lip.

Luckily this time, it's giving me more of a "I drank too much red wine at a party" look, or like, Wet and Wild lip liner applied poorly. Never the less, 15 years later, still mortifying. :-)

A Question of Catching

The Q: I got engaged in June, and I’ll be attending three weddings in August (two of which I’ll participate in). Do I participate in the bouquet toss? I’m not yet married, but it’s a given that I’m getting married, so I wasn’t sure.
 The A: Well, the single girls on the dancefloor mightn't appreciate the extra set of hands out there, but technically, you're still eligible for competition! Truth be told, it's a fast fading custom and done more often as a funny "retro" thing than anything else, so I doubt anyone will ask you to leave the dancefloor. I'm so curious, how many of you ladies are going to do the toss?? I havent seen it at any of my client weddings in AGES, so I'm curious if its just falling out of fashion in the NYC. let me know!!!

Arabian Nights!

Mayra went pretty nuts for these unbelievable Moroccan theme tents available for rent by Saint Tropez boutique. The company not only rents these tents and linings (which basically ARE your decor) but they also loan out Moroccan lanterns, Moroccan ottomans, Moroccan tables, Moroccan rugs, Moroccan tea pots, Moroccan tea glasses, Moroccan couches or Moroccan lounge seats and much more to create an amazing & memorable 1001 Arabian nights theme party.

They are genuine Moroccan and are handmade in Morocco by skilled artisans exclusively for Saint Tropez Boutique.

While I think these photos are a little TOO theme, the tents themselves are amazing and I think a sit down dinner with an amazing themed buffet a red or gold pin tuck linen on your tables and nothing but lanterns and mirrors would be out of this world for a formal, ethnic outdoor wedding.

Or imagine your themed, tented afterparty!!??

Slideshows

Lately, I've been getting a lot of emails with questions about when and where slideshows are appropriate and the best way to present them. Personally, I love a slideshow, but I usually find them most appropriate at a rehearsal dinner instead of the wedding itself, especially for larger weddings. I think what makes a slideshow great is the simultaneous sharing of precious AND humiliating moments, and its always so much more fun to humiliate with naked baby photos at a rehearsal dinner. Not to mention the notion of PACE at a reception. at their best, a slideshow is a hilarious AV extravaganza. at its worst, its like me shoing off photos of Zeppellin the puppy- a party killer...... final words: be sensitive to sensitive people as you are pulling your montage together....

Melange a Trois?

A few weeks ago I wet with Elana and Julie, the ladies from Melangerie NYC, a unique custom design and gift company here in New York. The two women, who met while in graduated school at Parsons, created a firm that not only makes custom invites, stationary suites and accessories to make your event special, but also these amazing little "melangeries"- or really souped up gift baskets. Essentially, they celebrate celebrating with bespoke gifts, items and detail work that so many brides out there are looking for to make their day feel more "them". Think seating charts that graph the number of years you've known a guest and how, or keepsake albums and one of a kind guest books, or custom item tags.... They do so much I can't possibly showcase it all here, but I wanted to show off my favorite piece.

I was MOST smitten by this amazing invite, which I had to share with everyone! It's for a wedding taking place this summer in a Restored Casino in Providence, Rhode Island. The notion was to capture a 1920's vibe, while still seeming clean and contemporary. Being a Provi girl myself (Mayra and I went to Brown) I know the venue well and this perfectly captured the notions of both retro and romance, while giving a wink to the location with the playing card size. I also think that Green is the new "hotness" in color, so I love that as well.

Ceremony but no Reception???

The Q: I am getting married next year and trying to determine the etiquette for inviting people to our ceremony, but not the reception. Our reception is only going to be for family, but we do have some church friends and others who we'd like to invite to the ceremony. Is there a delicate way to invite folks to the wedding without them then showing up at the reception as well? Or are we safer only sending save the dates and inviting people who will be invited to all parts of the celebration? Thanks for your advice and wonderful blog! Sincerely, Bride in Bryn Mawr

The A: Yes, Bryn Mawr bride, unfortunately, your instincts are right, and you should limit your invitations and all paper products regarding the wedding to guests who are invited to all elements. Ironically, if you wanted to invite less people to the ceremony and more people to the reception, that would be ok (I find that ironic since people more inclined to be offended by being invited to the less important of the two events, but it has to do with food and drinks and things ;-)

Anyway, what you could consider doing is simply having your pastor announce the week prior that the congregation would like to congratulate you for your upcoming nuptials, and then, since Church is a public place, those who know you are likely to just stop by, but a formal invitation to all would then really need an invite to your dinner as well.

You might want to consider a full congregation punch and cake reception if it means a lot to you. Then a private dinner with the family following that, but again, that's just a suggestion should you really want to include the "masses" in your exchange of vows!