Always a Blogsmaid

Printing away

The Q: "Is it ok to print names & addresses on my invitations? Will I be seen as rude & lazy?"

The A:Well, here is a fact, nothing is as nice as calligraphy for a wedding invitation. Nothing says wedding, nor looks as pretty or "classy" for lack of a better word. However, nothing costs quite the same either.

So, when you say printing, I am assuming you mean computer printing. I, while not a fan of digital calligraphy, do appreciate that more than, let's say, running the envelopes off on your office printer. First of all because they can match fonts from your invitation and 2nd of all, the print quality is better. At about $1 an envelope, it's worth the splurge.

All of this is to say, NONE OF YOUR GUESTS WILL PROBABLY CARE OR NOTICE. It's true! They will notice if it's fabulous (believe me, they will) but if it's lackluster, it won't register as bad or rude, it just simply WON'T REGISTER with your guests. The envelope will simply be tossed away! So, go for the best quality your budget can afford, but don't worry about your HP laser jet offending people.

PS, what is tacky are Avery labels. Don't do it.

Happy Mailing!

The Weather Man

The Q: "We are having our wedding on a rooftop and the reception inside on a lower level in a city venue.  We have the option to tent our rooftop, but obviously, I'd rather not since I like the rooftop because of the views, and the tent will add major $$$ to our budget.  When do I realistically need to make this rain call?"

The A: Wow, great question!!!  Well, the truth of the matter is, you probably need to make the call about 2 or 3 days prior.  The Tent company is going to likely tell you that you need to make it sooner, (like a week or so) but see if you can simply put a deposit on it first, and then make the call when you get a day or two out. 

Ultimately, the most important thing is that the rain plan is set to go.I would say that if it looks 40-45% chance of rain or greater, I would make the rain call, particularly if there is not a back up space to have the reception in.  There isn't anything worse than a rained out wedding filled with wet guests! 

While it wouldn't spare you the cost of the tent for the rain, you should check with the tent company and see just WHEN they would start putting up the tent and what your tent options are.  First off, a clear top tent will feel much more airy than a plain white tent.  The other thing is if they are only setting it up that day or the night prior, you might still need to PAY for the tent (since you would have reserved it) but if it seems like the weather has changed, you might be able to make a last minute call about setting it up. 

Best of luck and I hope that the weather is on your side! Remember, your wedding will be wonderful no matter what!

Apologies, Apologies

Ladies, I want to apologize for the erratic posting schedule we've been experiencing here!  The throws of the wedding and event season are upon us and I am excited and looking forward to getting back to form in the coming days and weeks.  Let me know if you have any last minute questions as your spring and summer weddings approach! Look forward to hearing from you.

Eliminating Reception Cards

The Q: "Hello, My question is about invitations: I'm struggling right now with some wording issues. I don't want to have a separate reception card when I send out my invitation (would prefer to save the money). So I wanted to include the reception name/street on my actual invitation. I didn't know whether to write "dinner and dancing" versus "reception" (3:00 ceremony, cocktails at 6:00, dinner at 7:00). I also didn't want to say reception/dinner & dancing "following" the ceremony, since there is a bit of a time gap. Do you think "following at six o'clock" works?"

The A: Hi, well, I understand what you are saying, but I think you're going to find that the card looks MIGHTY crowded with all that information. To answer the main gist of your question, I think that following at Six O'Clock sounds a little confusing. To just make it look a little better, PERHAPS (and it's just a suggestion because I don't know what the invite looks like) you could try placing the reception info in the Right hand corner? The other In terms of wording, I think what you should consider is:

Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw request the
honor of your presence is requested
at the marriage of their daughter
Carrie
to
Mr. Big
Saturday the Seventh of June
Two Thousand and Eight
at Three O'Clock in the afternoon
St. Barts Church
XXX Park Avenue
NEw York City

Dinner and Dancing at
Six O'Clock in the Evening
The Plaza Hotel
XXX Fifth Avenue
New York City

Part of me thinks that you should consider printing a cheaper set of direction cards with the addresses for both locations, which would then clean up a few lines.....

The King and I

This week, in a break from Wedding Wonder-ness, we've been working on a fabulous event in the advertising industry, The One Show.  It's recognizes creative achievement in advertising and last night was the MAIN event.  Burger King was winning a big prize, but unfortunately no one from their ad agency could come and pick up the award.  However, I got a call at 3 yesterday that they could send SOMEONE.  a little someone named THE BURGER KING!!!    He comes with an entourage and required a dressing room, but we were able to accomodate him AND Mayra event squeezed in time for a photo... Had to share.

Thank you Bean!

A few months ago, I posted about the Lovings, and the post was picked up and viewed a TON by the ladies over at Wedding Bee. Well, I wanted to take a few moments to say thank you to Mildred "Bean" Loving, who dies this Friday at 68 years old. Mrs. Loving and her husband dared to defy convention and the law and blaze a trail for millions of couples who have been in love when in 1967 she and her husband fought for their interracial marriage in the supreme court. Loving v. Virginia overturned legal prohibition of Interracial marriage in the US. Here more about Mildred

Dressed for Success??

The Q: "I am the maid of honor for my girlfriend.She is getting married and has set aside
$1000 for her bridal dress.  She has fallen in love with a $3000 dress and is fretting about spending that much money.  I think she can get a beautiful dress within her budget and to keep looking.  She has already tried on some dresses in her range and has looked terrific. She still has other expenses to think about.  I think she might be loosing her focus.  any suggestions?"

The A: Wow! You sound like me with one of our clients!!!   I think you are being a good MOH in trying to dissuade her, but it's hard to change the course of a determined bride, especially when it comes to the dress.

However, I think the best thing that you can do is to show her what the 2K difference can buy her.  2K can pay for an extra 10 guests at her wedding.  2K can cover her ceremony flowers and possibly her personal flowers.  2K can more than cover transportation.  2K can go towards the honeymoon.  2K can pay for all of the alterations, shoes, foundation garments, hair and make up AND a cute Tory Burch dress for her Rehearsal dinner.  I think that rather than make a vague suggestion about how she can use her money, just showcase for her HOW far that money can go (and will need to go) in certain other areas.  She can pay for her DJ and live ceremony musicians with that money.  I could go on and on and on... I hope that helps- but remember, it's her show- don't allow yourself to get frustrated with her decisions- ultimately, you'll just bicker amongst yourselves and both be frustrated by the experience.

Tip Sheet

The Q: "Thank you for posting such interesting questions and great answers! My question is what is the etiquette for tipping vendors? Do I have to tip them and if so what percentage? Do I have to tip all of them or just the ones that went above and beyond? If you can shed any light on this that would be helpful! "

The A: Yes, you should tip your vendors, though many people feel that if the vendor themself is the owner of their own business, no tipping is necessary. In those instances, I often suggest a small gift. Below is a tip sheet, with some of our general tipping guidelines- as well as our explanations! Often, I think of these numbers as MINIMUM tips, especially here in NY for photo, maitre'd and video, but remember, some gesture is often better than none!

Limo/Shuttle Bus: $20 per driver
Hair & Make-up: 15%- 20% of the total
Floral Delivery: $20 per location
Photographer & Assistant: $100, $50 REMEMBER, they still have work to do after this
Videographer & Assistant: $100, $25 same for the video
Ceremony Musicians: $25-$35 per musician
Cake Delivery: $10-25
Band Tip: $100 for band leader and $25 per musician, $25 extra for musicians who also played during cocktails.
DJ tip: $100
Elevator/freight Operator: $50
Lighting Set-up: $20
Maitre D: $100-$300
Bartenders: $40 per bartender
Banquet Manager (catering hall): Nice gift. A good bottle of wine or a gift certificate.
Petty Cash for the event for DOC: $300 in small bills
wedding coordinator: gift certificate/ small gift

Sub-prime Wedding Woes

The Q:" I agreed to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding when she got engaged. Its is now April and her wedding is in December. (We haven't done anything yet- like get dresses). As of recently, I am seriously strapped for cash. I am having a hard time even paying my mortgage. Is it horrible to tell her I can't be in the wedding, not because I don't want to, but because I just really can't afford it. It's driving me crazy and I'm all stressed out about it. What should I do?"

The A: If I had audio on here, I'd have put in a clip of MJ singing "You are not alone". I actually can't tell you how a) frequently this happens and b) how OK it is to face reality and accept the things that you can and cannot do. Good for you for setting priorities financially and I commend you for being so respectful of your friend that you are stressing out about this

The #1 thing to do is to let her know as soon as possible in a nice, private and respectful way. Don't send her an email or (god forbid) a text message about it!!! Please. Call her and let her know that you need to speak with her regarding the wedding and just be frank about the situation. Let her know that when you accepted, you didn't quite realize how stretched things would feel and since the issue of the dresses is probably just around the corner (she should really get on that right away, btw) you thought it best to let her know now that you simply can't do it. Please let her know how important it is to you that she realize it's not personal and offer to help her put together programs, be of assistance with her guestbook at the reception or whatever smaller task she may need help with on that day. You aren't trying to skirt wedding work- just wedding expenses.

People don't always realize that asking someone to be a bridesmaid is akin to asking them for about $1200. It's an honor, but an expensive honor and there is no shame in putting your mortgage first- as long as you are sweet about it!

Some brides, if they have the means, may offer to simply (and quietly) help you out with the dress/ your share of the expenses. If that's the case, you should take the help because it's her way of saying she just wants you to be a part of her day- a girl in the gaggle that surrounds her. Some brides may be in the BRIDE ZONE and not care about your "excuses" and be hurt and offended that you aren't putting her wedding first. Don't let yourself be caught up in that. The wedding stress will pass and she'll likely see the folly of her reaction and you'll be friends again in no time. If not, you will have to work at getting to a zen place about it.

I'm wishing you the best and I hope this goes well. You sound like a sensitive person and your intentions are sincere- so I"m sure that will come across to your friend the bride!

Online Invitations

The Q:  I'm hosting a bridal shower.  Is it OK to send out online invitations?  Must I send paper ones?  I haven't ever hosted a shower before and I'm not sure what the etiquette is.

The A:  As I think I've posted before, I personally, love a paper invitation because we get such crappy snail mail these days, it feels so lovely and special to receive a paper invite. HOWEVER, I am getting with the program, and while I still feel like it's NOT OK to send digital invites for the wedding itself, it is perfectly acceptable for showers, luncheons and I might go as far as to say informal engagement celebrations.

Now, that's not  an excuse to use send an email or a text message with the time and date!  Let's not cut all the corners, but it is an OK to design an html email OR even better- an electronic invite with style.

Maybe it's my age, but there is something about Evites that SCREAM my early 20's to me, so I was delighted when I got the link to Pingg - one of the more stylish, ADVERTISING FREE e-vite like sites that I've ever seen. AND it is so easy to use. I created a fake invitation in preview to show you gals without having to register (I hate having to register) Obviously, at some poine, you must register to use it, but it's awesome! And it's free.  Here is the image I picked for a potential bridal shower or bridesmaids luncheon.  You can even share through facebook.

Please remember though, with things like showers that involve several age groups, you need to be sure that grandmothers and others who might not be online are able to get the information that they need, and not feel that they were somehow slighted!

Name Your Event Date: May 5, 2008, 7am